6 Questions to Help You Prepare for Couples Counseling

If you have communication issues with your partner or are contemplating a divorce, try couples counseling with a licensed professional. Counseling can help couples who fight regularly or have feelings of mistrust toward each other see their relationship more clearly. Here are some questions to ask yourself and your partner before attending your first counseling session:

What Are the Major Problems and Conflicts in Our Relationship?

Issues like infidelity and substance abuse can cause health problems, financial issues, and erosion of trust within relationships. Couples may also have financial disagreements over things such as savings, expenses, and debts. One of the things taught during couples counseling is that a lack of emotional or physical intimacy can also cause conflicts, as partners feel disconnected. Conflicts in a relationship also arise due to external circumstances such as careers, medical conditions, or extended family interference.

What Are the Common Objectives of Our Relationship?

A common objective for many couples is to have more honest and open communication. Some couples want to build respect and trust, while others want to increase the amount of quality time they spend together. Developing mutual appreciation and expressing gratitude is another objective for couples in counseling. Licensed counselors will tailor couples’ sessions to their goals and teach them calm and constructive conflict-resolution techniques.

How Do We Communicate With Each Other During a Conflict?

If couples use more “you” statements instead of “I” statements during disagreements, counselors will help them reframe their perspectives. Using “you” statements is a sign an individual is blaming their partner instead of expressing their emotions and experiences. Active listening and validating each partner’s feelings with emotion-based language can contribute to effective communication in a relationship. Counselors may give couples tips for taking turns talking or taking breaks from talking when things become too heated.

How Do We Express Affection and Love Toward Each Other?

Couples should assess the ways they express love and affection to each other. A good way to do this is to set aside phones and other distractions and spend more quality time together. Frequent compliments, words of encouragement, and expressions of appreciation are positive ways to show love and affection. A counselor will help couples understand their needs and create plans to help each other feel loved and supported.

How Do We Each Contribute to Conflicts?

Each partner in a relationship plays a part in disagreements and conflicts. If couples avoid a conflict instead of trying to solve it, they may be contributing to a more significant argument later on. If couples engage in blame games instead of focusing on reaching a solution, counselors will work with them to change their approach to conflicts. They will also help couples set realistic expectations for their partners to avoid conflicts over minor issues.

Do We Have Boundary Expectations?

People in relationships can establish boundaries to maintain comfort and trust. Some people are uncomfortable with public displays of affection or certain types of physical touch. Others may prefer to have their personal space during different times of the day. Professional counselors will begin discussions about what both partners are comfortable with in the relationship physically, mentally, and emotionally. Financial boundaries are another thing to discuss, and a counselor may suggest setting boundaries and expectations for paying bills, handling money, and managing joint accounts.

Schedule a Couples Counseling Session

Couples counseling creates an opportunity for partners to learn more about each other and themselves. If you are interested in couples counseling, look for a licensed counselor who offers a range of treatment methods that suit you and your partner’s needs. Contact a counselor today to learn more about their treatment approach and schedule an appointment.